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Ups & Downs

by Stonehocker

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Full length album, 12 songs, in a jewel case with full color artwork designed by Mark Stonehocker.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Ups & Downs via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 5 Stonehocker releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Ups & Downs, The Walk, You Matter to Me, Mail Me a Smile, and Star Flake. , and , .

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1.
Here they come Floating past my window Knocking on my door Inviting me in to their world I am safe, safe from it all It’s sick The way you roll around for them The way you pant Jump a little higher The heat’s bouncing off the sidewalk Bouncing around my walls Trying to burn me Trying to warn me Trying to save me from the flash flood It’s sick The way you roll around for them The way you pant Jump a little higher Maybe you’ll snatch what they want you to What you don’t want to do But I am safe from it all
2.
Let’s rewind the time To when I first caught your eye You were a perfect piece of heaven Fallen from the sky You’re my … You’re my unfinished love Don’t count me out just yet Why you talked to me I really don’t know why But it led to all we had Now we don’t have the time Let’s stop the clock for a minute So we can catch our breath Let’s find what we’ve been missing Maybe we’ve still got a chance You’re my … You’re my unfinished love It looks like I’ve given up Don’t count me out just yet Just give me one more chance Let’s stop to catch our breath After all that we’ve been through Don’t count me out just yet You’re my … You’re my unfinished love Why you called me back I really don’t know why After all that we’ve been through I’ll give it one more try.
3.
The Walk 03:37
I’m walking this road And I don’t know exactly where it will go It keeps on taking me out of control It’s a hard road to be all on your own I’m following you No matter where it leads I’m trusting in you Until I look away and lose sight of you I get distracted by the world that I knew Another storm is coming on strong And like a wave it wants to swallow me up Dragging me out, away from all that I love Trying to drown me while I’m down on my luck You’re just waiting for me to ask Save me Save me You never left You’re just waiting for me to ask Save me
4.
Give me one reason to call your name Tell me why you came back to be with me Show me why it matters that I go on Help me understand where I belong You gave me Love Give me one more chance to do it right Let me try to mend my broken life Help me navigate this path I’m on Tell me what I’m doing all this for You gave me Love Let me give you back what I’ve received I want to be the man that I should be I’m going to walk a line that’s clear to see Show others what you gave to me You gave me Love You gave me simplicity You gave me what I didn’t know I’d need You gave it all to me You gave me Love
5.
Missing You 03:38
Every single moment that I see your face I know that you are with me now. Even though you’re miles away When my memory serves up moments that make me realize I miss you now. The world just fades away I’m missing you before you’re gone Before I know the final outcome I’m not afraid to die but I’m afraid of loss I can’t let go, because I love you too much Give me one more second without distractions and let me just remember how You were always there for me. While the world turns and time moves on and I begin to finally realize That time is running out for us! I’m missing you before you’re gone Before I know the final outcome I’m not afraid to die but I’m afraid of loss I can’t let go, because I love you too much
6.
Lost Art 03:58
I am Your art I am Your woven tapestry I am Your sculpture in the sand I am the clay in Your hands This is my art The art You gave to me This is my art I give it back to You In a song I am a broken monument Meant to stand to something more But in this ghastly state I am quietly ignored I am a masterpiece, a work of art Stolen during war and lost But when I’m finally re-discovered You take me home to where I belong This is my art, in a song This is my art, in a song for You This is my art, for You. In a song I give it back to You, I give it back to You in a song I give it back to You, I give my all to You in a song I give it all to You, I want to give this song to You Yeah give this song to you, I want to give it all to you This is my art, from You! This is my art, I write this song to You This is my art, from You! In a song
7.
Long drawn out pain Echoing in my memory These words remind me Of something I don't want to be Silly and incomplete It's all that I'll amount to be But pain is what I know It's had it's share of time in me Don't come back I remember how it use to be Don’t come back You’ll bring home all my old enemies Don’t come back Angry, biting words It hurts me just to see them again Months pass by As the pages turn, it never ends How did I survive? I know it cost almost everything But here I stand Against all odds, against the pain Don’t come back I remember how it use to be Don’t come back You’ll bring home all my old enemies Don’t come back It’s been awhile … since I tore her down I’d given up … even on myself Long drawn out pain … how did I survive? But here I stand … here I stand. Don’t come back.
8.
To You 03:38
Looking for a song That means more to you Something that I want to say Rather what I need to say To you. Sifting through my broken words Looking for a touching verse Thinking of the pledge I made To you. I think I’m looking way too hard When all I need to give is love You never wanted more from me I’m singing to you Empty and alone Was the life I knew Wallowing in loneliness Looking for the love I found In you. Thinking back on memories Laying down in empty streets And through it all I can’t believe That I found you. I don’t believe in luck And I don’t believe in fate And I want you just to know That I choose you. I’m singing to you.
9.
You matter to me Misunderstood Misrepresented Misproclaimed Mistranslated Nobody follows Nobody reads Nobody listens No one believes Simple promises Simple words Uncomplicated Love that is pure I’m not alone I don’t want to be I want them to know One simple name Jesus You matter to me
10.
Hit the Sky 03:42
Please quiet Don’t tell me what I know Everybody knows And everything is in my head Don’t put me down I can’t stand to be on the ground But I’m broken And nobody needs a broken boy To love Please love me Someday I’ll tell you what I know I’ll tell you I can’t change alone I’m nothing without you Holding me down From flying away And hitting the sky Like a firecracker Blowing away from the earth It hates so much Because of the devil it is And the tricks it plays On a weak little mind That only wants to love you But if you must Goodbye.
11.
The softest sound Sweet and serene Play me a song Put me to sleep Loving hands Play the ivory keys Bring forth a song For my memory In soothing notes I drift away I hear her song She’ll always stay Play me a song Sooth my soul I’d love to hear You play once more You’ll never depart A mother’s love is strong Your song plays on Inside my heart
12.
Running Away 05:13
I see your ghost in the crowd It’s all straight from a dream I see your ghost on a seat in the train Always looking at me I see your ghost everywhere Always catching my eye As if it isn’t hard enough To let you die Running away Trying to stay away I’m running away I’m always trying to get away Why’d you come back? It’s not like I had begun To forget your face To forget your love Why’d you appear On that day? When you should know how hard it is For me to get away Running away From what I cannot avoid I’m losing you again and again I’m feeling all alone While I am left to dream Of you on the train Always looking at me … always reminding me … That I’m running away I’m trying to stay away I’m running away I’m always trying to get away I’m always trying to get away Trying to get away from me Trying to guarantee I’m free I’m always trying to get away Running away.

about

It's got 12 songs and it's my best album yet (of course, I'm biased). It's called "Ups & Downs", the songs are individual personal memoirs chronicling the ups and downs of life. As someone who battles with depression, the ups and downs can be extreme.

The seesaw depicts the inevitability of the downs in life that can't be stopped. More importantly though, the seesaw reminds me of the effort required to go up again!

credits

released April 8, 2022

All songs written and performed by Mark Stonehocker
Recorded and mixed by Mark Stonehocker in Calgary
Art and design by Mark Stonehocker
Distributed by IndiePool

Thanks to God, for calling me. Thanks to my Mom and Dad.
Thank you and Love to Kelly and Lucas, for listening throughout it all.
Vince Musaka and Mike Warren for the support and encouragement.
My listening crew - Devine Taylor, Christina Hatton-Fearnley, Tony Lottes,
Donald Goertz, Aysia Posein, Daniel Lee-Henningham, Vitor Giordanno,
Tatiane Santana, Gray Sanchez.

Thanks to CHF Photography for the photos and Danu5ik for the business tips.

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about

Stonehocker Calgary, Alberta

Individual personal memoirs.

Stonehocker’s music is a journey through life, following all the ups and downs; capturing joy, anger, depression, and love.
Art requires opening up one’s soul, it can’t be held back.

“Looking for a song that means more to you, something that I want to say, rather what I need to say … To You.”
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